Focusing on Where I'd Like to Go

Sometimes I reflect on my past with wonder. I have known people who impacted me so profoundly, they changed who I was into the person that I am— yet they are no longer in my life. I remember conversations with these people. I have shared intimate moments with them. I have planned futures, had children, shared secrets, and celebrated milestones with people who have since become part of my past. 
    I love everything they’ve taught me about myself and the world, and there are moments that I wonder where they are and what they are doing. What I try not to do is imagine how my life would be different if they had remained in it. Instead, I try to think of these people as gifts, no matter if the lessons they taught were hard or easy, or if they made me happy or not— because the truth is that every person who has touched me has helped to mold me into the person I believe I’m meant to be. 
    Sometimes walking away from someone or being left behind seems like the hardest thing I’ll ever go through. But I’ve realized lately that this feeling is momentary. It’s hard to imagine my life without someone who has played a pivotal role in it, but in the end, I rarely look back and wish it were different. Every person we’ve ever had in our lives, whether they remain or not, are part of our journey, and they help shape us into the person we are, the person we are becoming. 
    Instead of focusing on who I want or don’t want in my life, I need to explore how I feel, how people make me feel when I’m with them. I have know this for a long time, but it’s amazing how difficult it is to remember lessons learned when we need them the most. When I concentrate on my feeling, I tend to get to where I want, with the people who are best for me. It’s easy for me to externalize and to think of others first. But when I focus my attention on whether a particular person is making me feel valued or making me better, it helps me to become my best self.
    I was told long ago that when I’m driving I should look where I want to go. If I focus on the road ahead, that’s where I’ll end up. If I get distracted by the billboards, the ditches, I might swerve and crash into them. The same is true with life. I’m working on looking at the path before me and focusing on how I feel. It has made a big difference in how I view my journey. I know I’m not alone in it, and I hope these words hep you, wherever you are in yours.

With love and light,