Pieces Falling Into Place, Not Apart.

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about ego—specifically mine, not my dog who’s name is Ego.

When my children were younger, we came to a difficult realization: their school wasn’t the right fit. My two eldest were attending Atlanta International School, and I took great pride in the fact that they were in a dual-language program and could speak Spanish from an early age. So when it became clear that we needed to make a change, it was incredibly hard. Even though I knew it was the right decision for them, it didn’t make it easier for me.

I had to let go of the people, the routines, and the imagined futures I had attached to that school. I had to mourn the loss of what I had envisioned in order to make room for who my children truly were and who they were becoming. At some point, I realized that the hardest part of the transition wasn’t about the school itself—it was not being able to tell people they were at AIS. That was my ego talking. That was my issue. And if I didn’t check it, I risked casting a shadow of shame over them. 

Over the years, I’ve gotten better at recognizing when my ego is leading the way. I’ve learned to care less about how others perceive me and more about what’s true for the people I love. I’ve come to see that much of the shame I’ve carried was never really mine to begin with—it belonged to other people. And their opinions? Not my concern. Not my burden.

Now, the question I try to ask myself in those moments is simple: “What is best for myself or them?” When I answer that honestly, the way forward becomes clearer. We all have dreams and expectations for the people we love—and that’s natural, even beautiful. But sometimes I forget to ask what “their and my” dreams are. What “they and I” want. Those are important questions too. Essential conversations, especially with the people closest to us.

So if life doesn’t go your way—if you find yourself disappointed, angry, or just thrown off course—try this with me: slow down. Take a breath. Ask yourself,  “why?” Maybe your ego is in the way. Maybe shame is. Maybe things aren’t falling apart, but falling into place. I truly believe we end up where we’re meant to be, doing what we’re meant to do, with the people we’re meant to share our lives with. And if you’re not there yet? It just means you’re still on the way.