Resetting To Happiness

We’re born happy. As babies and young children, happiness is our natural state—so long as our basic needs are met, joy flows effortlessly. Yet somewhere along the way, that changes. As adults, we often find ourselves making lists of what we need to be happy, as if happiness is a destination reached only through accumulation. That’s always struck me as a bit backwards. When did our default setting shift from happiness to discontent?

I don’t know exactly when it happens, but it does. And lately, I’ve been trying something different. Instead of making lists of what I need in order to be happy, I’ve started from the assumption that I already am happy—and begun making lists of the things I need to let go of. The clutter. The noise. The relationships, habits, and patterns that stand between me and that natural state of contentment.

Over time, we all pick up baggage. We add layers to protect ourselves, gather possessions, collect relationships. But how much of that really serves us? And why is it so hard to release what no longer does?

Rather than constantly seeking more, what if we paused to take inventory of what we already have—and questioned whether we still need it? Are the physical things we own weighing us down? Are the relationships in our lives nourishing or draining? Are our daily habits aligned with who we want to be—or are we just operating on autopilot?

I’ve said this many times before: I’m imperfect, and my life is far from flawless. But I’m deeply committed to building the best life I’m capable of living. And much of that, for me, has come from a shift in focus—a flipping of the switch, so to speak.

So what I’m doing now, and finding surprisingly illuminating, is resetting my default to happiness. I’m clearing the path back to it by removing what dims my light, rather than chasing something I think I lack. Of course, there will always be obligations, relationships, and circumstances beyond our control. But even then, I think it’s worth asking: Are these things truly necessary? Are they contributing to my unhappiness? And if they are—maybe it’s time for a change.

With love and light,