The Fear That Holds Me Back

I’ve been thinking a lot about fear—how it gets in my way and how, over time, I’ve responded to certain fears out of habit rather than intention. There are situations that arise again and again, and without realizing it, I react in the same way simply because it’s what I know. But I don’t want to just react—I want to slow down, to think first, to choose my response.  

A dear friend often reminds me to ready, aim, fire, but I’ve been conditioned to fire and then look, to react first and reflect later. Fear has a purpose—it keeps us safe—but at some point, when safety is no longer in question, it can also keep us stuck. The very instincts that once protected us can begin to hinder growth and happiness.  

We all stack responses over time, reacting not just to the present but to the past, often without even realizing it. And yet, I know I can push through fear—I’ve done it before. I can be afraid and do something anyway. That’s bravery. When I manage to be thoughtful instead of reactive, to act instead of instinctively retreating, I’m always proud of myself. And I usually realize I was never really in danger to begin with.  

When I’m afraid or feeling stuck, I ask myself: "What’s the worst that could happen?" When I started this company, I was terrified—I had no idea what I was doing. But then I asked myself, "Why am I afraid?" And when I realized so much of that fear stemmed from worrying about looking foolish, I knew I could work around it. I decided I wouldn’t share my plans with anyone who wouldn’t support me. And I redefined success on my own terms—I chose to see it all as a learning experience. If I failed, at least I would have learned something. In that way, I couldn’t truly fail at all.  

If I had let fear stop me, I wouldn’t be here now. So I’m working to recognize where fear still holds me back in other areas of my life. I’m asking myself if those fears still serve me—if they ever did. My hope is to shed what no longer serves me so I can grow into the best version of myself.  

I hope you, too, can overcome whatever is holding you back—and that in the process, you can be kind, compassionate, and forgiving with yourself.  

xx,  
Christina