Trading Goals for Purpose

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on the idea of new iterations—how we evolve, grow, and redefine what matters. I’ve noticed a common thread among many friends, both men and women, who find themselves at a crossroads. They’re shifting from a life led by goals to one guided by purpose.

At the same time, I look at my children and their peers—bright, curious, and in their late teens or early twenties—on the cusp of adulthood. They’re stepping out into the world post-high school or college, and naturally, people ask: What’s your plan?

I’ve always found that to be an impossible question at that age. The truth is, I had no real idea what my plan was back then—and I doubt most people truly do, unless they’re pursuing a defined path like medicine, law, or architecture. In the absence of a clear calling or passion—which is entirely normal at that stage—we tend to set goals. Tangible, check-the-box milestones that signal success to ourselves and to others.

But as we move through life, something shifts. The pursuit of goals begins to feel less fulfilling. We start to crave more—more meaning, more connection, more why. That’s where many of my friends are now. Their lives have been full, their goals met. And yet, there’s this hunger for something deeper.

For the fortunate few, we discover our passions and find ways to align them with a sense of purpose. I’ve written before about the “Three P’s”: passion, purpose, and place—and how transformative it is when these align. Many of you have shared with me that you’re also beginning to uncover your own Three P’s.

I often wish there were a shortcut I could offer my children—or yours—to help them find their way to purpose sooner. But that’s not how life works. It seems we must first chase the goals: the job, the family, the accomplishments, the accolades. Only then, after realizing those things don’t completely fill us, do we begin the journey toward purpose.

These ideas aren’t simple, nor are they universal. I’m not suggesting everyone is goal-oriented, nor that everyone uncovers a singular, defined purpose. But I do believe each of us is here for something. For me, that “something” is being a mother and a creative—roles that feel deeply interconnected. Both are about giving form to something greater than myself.

Sometimes our purpose is so close to us, we don’t recognize it. It can take upheaval, loss, or a moment of profound clarity to see what’s been in front of us all along. I know countless people who don’t see the power or meaning in what they do each day. They view their lives through the lens of tasks and checklists, not realizing that those very acts might be the expression of their purpose.

To those people, and to anyone reading this: take a moment to look differently at your life. Ask yourself what brings you joy. If you’re fortunate enough to engage in those things regularly, consider this—perhaps you’re already living a life of passion and purpose. Perhaps your present is the very life your past self once dreamed of.

So, here’s to living fully—whatever that looks like for each of us.
With love and light,